Fotcetarfquafbagbabcep is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, self-assured jackal.

Fotcetarfquafbagbabcep created a down quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Fotcetarfquafbagbabcep, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fotcetarfquafbagbabcep, it will be very sad.

Fotcetarfquafbagbabcep's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Fotcetarfquafbagbabcep's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not kill manatees.

3. Never feed lots of corn to bats while wearing purple dresses.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never paint your chest blue.