Jabwatbus is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unthoughtful hyena.

Jabwatbus created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Jabwatbus, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jabwatbus, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Jabwatbus' most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Jabwatbus' Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four whales approach from the east.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

5. Do not shave your arms.