Fassiddit is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, ill-tempered walrus.

Fassiddit created the Andromeda Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fassiddit, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fassiddit, he will turn you into a tree.

Fassiddit's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Fassiddit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

2. Do not take Fassiddit's name in vain.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Fassiddit on top of all buildings.

4. Always look after injured snails.

5. Never eat bark.