Betkadgess is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, astonishing coyote.

Betkadgess created a bottom quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Betkadgess, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Betkadgess, she will turn you into a sheep.

Betkadgess' most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Betkadgess' Holy Commandments

1. You must love Betkadgess.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not speak about coconuts.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Betkadgess on top of all buildings.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.