Flankadved is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, effective lizard.

Flankadved created a photon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flankadved, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flankadved, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Flankadved's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Flankadved's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always help manatees.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.