Kikjadgem is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, thoughtless parrot.

Kikjadgem created an up quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikjadgem, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kikjadgem, he will send you a sign.

Kikjadgem's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Kikjadgem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near hamsters while wearing orange hats and balancing three zinc spheres on your face.

2. Do not speak about pineapples.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

5. Never talk about stars.