Yarpbatshavwad is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, astonishing swan.

Yarpbatshavwad created dark matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpbatshavwad, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yarpbatshavwad, it will destroy your home solar system.

Yarpbatshavwad's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Yarpbatshavwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Hide from gray tortoises for they are unholy.

3. Always obey Yarpbatshavwad's priests.

4. Never wear shorts.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.