Cubnutkab Neltof is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, pitiless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Cubnutkab Neltof created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cubnutkab Neltof, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cubnutkab Neltof, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Cubnutkab Neltof's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Cubnutkab Neltof's Holy Commandments

1. Put Cubnutkab Neltof first in all things.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always obey Cubnutkab Neltof's priests.

5. Run away from magenta monkeys, for they are unholy.