Beptifbit is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, omniscient bear.

Beptifbit created the cosmos three billion years ago.

If you believe in Beptifbit, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Beptifbit, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Beptifbit's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Beptifbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near bats while wearing black boots and balancing four nickel spheres on your head.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.