Lamgubnig is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, uncaring mink.

Lamgubnig created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamgubnig, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Lamgubnig, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Lamgubnig's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Lamgubnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cherries.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never think ill of sick mice.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near squirrels while wearing gray kilts.