Jatcenkin is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, able otter.

Jatcenkin created gold eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatcenkin, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jatcenkin, she will send minions to preach to you.

Jatcenkin's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Jatcenkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Jatcenkin in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always obey Jatcenkin's priests.

4. Jatcenkin loves cats, so they must be respected.

5. Always look after injured dolphins.