Gigkar Canlitcun is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, cheerful lobster.

Gigkar Canlitcun created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gigkar Canlitcun, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gigkar Canlitcun, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gigkar Canlitcun's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Gigkar Canlitcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not drink alcohol.