Spagbetrowappbap is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, annoying goblin.

Spagbetrowappbap created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagbetrowappbap, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Spagbetrowappbap, it will turn you into a snail.

Spagbetrowappbap's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Spagbetrowappbap's Holy Commandments

1. Spagbetrowappbap loves seals, so they must be respected.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.

3. Worship no other gods but Spagbetrowappbap.

4. Never talk about sharks.

5. Run away from mauve capybaras, for they are unholy.