Davkanxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a small, humorless squid.

Davkanxuck created an up quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Davkanxuck, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Davkanxuck, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Davkanxuck's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Davkanxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Davkanxuck in the centre of the settlement.

4. Retreat if four ducks approach from the north.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.