Nurtagyimbin is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, emotional crab.

Nurtagyimbin created a photon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtagyimbin, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nurtagyimbin, she will not care.

Nurtagyimbin's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Nurtagyimbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of doves.

2. You must pray to Nurtagyimbin three times a day.

3. Never wear coats.

4. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.