Zimpiggut is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, humane duck.

Zimpiggut created a quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimpiggut, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zimpiggut, it will ignore you.

Zimpiggut's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Zimpiggut's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to capybaras while wearing cyan jumpers.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Zimpiggut loves seals, so they must be honoured.

4. Always look after injured dogs.

5. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Zimpiggut on top of important buildings.