Sterbemstaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, grumpy human.

Sterbemstaf created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sterbemstaf, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sterbemstaf, it will turn you into a worm.

Sterbemstaf's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Sterbemstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention aardvarks.

2. Never sprint in the presence of bats.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Retreat if five mites approach from the west.