Larnzagfun is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, wise human.

Larnzagfun created Mount Everest two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnzagfun, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Larnzagfun, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Larnzagfun's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Larnzagfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never mention goats.

3. Do not hurt snakes.

4. Never eat garlic.

5. Always look after injured great tits.