Xucflatjatjin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, charitable faun.

Xucflatjatjin created the Black Eye Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucflatjatjin, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Xucflatjatjin, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Xucflatjatjin's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Xucflatjatjin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick tortoises.

2. Never jump near grasshopers.

3. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Pray towards the west.