Zigdidsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, impressive cow.

Zigdidsaw created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Zigdidsaw, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zigdidsaw, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Zigdidsaw's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Zigdidsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Zigdidsaw loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

2. Never jump near geese.

3. Always help capybaras.

4. Never hurt birds.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.