Podnantun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, irritating shrew.

Podnantun created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Podnantun, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Podnantun, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Podnantun's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Podnantun's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear white.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never hurt mice.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Fast once a month.