Lanyatjat is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, egotistical grasshopper.

Lanyatjat created light five billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanyatjat, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lanyatjat, it will turn you into a slug.

Lanyatjat's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Lanyatjat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Lanyatjat on top of all buildings.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never sit in the presence of bats.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lanyatjat.