Betpopsak Hitmildib is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, idiotic armadillo.

Betpopsak Hitmildib created humankind two million years ago.

If you believe in Betpopsak Hitmildib, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Betpopsak Hitmildib, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Betpopsak Hitmildib's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Betpopsak Hitmildib's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not kill goats.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. You must pray to Betpopsak Hitmildib five times a day.

5. Do not run in public.