Litmonlist is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, irritating jaguar.

Litmonlist created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Litmonlist, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Litmonlist, he will turn you into a plant.

Litmonlist's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Litmonlist's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick doves.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Litmonlist.

4. Litmonlist loves dogs, so they must be respected.

5. Never bounce in the presence of goats.