Yostwotyet is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, clever scorpion.

Yostwotyet created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Yostwotyet, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yostwotyet, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yostwotyet's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Yostwotyet's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. You must pray to Yostwotyet nine times a day.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.