Safspagcunkar is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, resourceful chicken.

Safspagcunkar created bats two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Safspagcunkar, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Safspagcunkar, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Safspagcunkar's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Safspagcunkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near mice.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never wear yellow stockings.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always help capybaras in need.