Hasgepgab is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, overgenerous weasel.

Hasgepgab created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasgepgab, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hasgepgab, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hasgepgab's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Hasgepgab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never think about dwarf planets.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think ill of sick bats.

5. Always help tapirs.