Flamdutgar is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, unfair whale.

Flamdutgar created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamdutgar, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flamdutgar, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Flamdutgar's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Flamdutgar's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Flamdutgar three times a day.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never hurt bats.

4. Put Flamdutgar first in all things.

5. Never wear green scarves.