Vinappjap is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, intelligent whale.

Vinappjap created snails five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinappjap, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vinappjap, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Vinappjap's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Vinappjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vinappjap.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Vinappjap loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

5. Always help great tits.