Camvonhug is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, loving mongoose.

Camvonhug created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Camvonhug, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Camvonhug, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Camvonhug's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Camvonhug's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never hurt mites.

4. Always help eagles in need.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.