Jingonmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, intelligent lobster.

Jingonmeg created a quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jingonmeg, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jingonmeg, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jingonmeg's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Jingonmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Hide from brown frogs for they are unholy.

5. Sheep are not to be trusted.