Queegcatlen Dinfendag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, deceitful giraffe.

Queegcatlen Dinfendag created snails twelve years ago.

If you believe in Queegcatlen Dinfendag, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Queegcatlen Dinfendag, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Queegcatlen Dinfendag's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Queegcatlen Dinfendag's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never think about solid mechanics.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Never laugh in holy places.