Nilflagdutquatcinparknatyim is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, humane swallow.

Nilflagdutquatcinparknatyim created the Sol system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilflagdutquatcinparknatyim, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nilflagdutquatcinparknatyim, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Nilflagdutquatcinparknatyim's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Nilflagdutquatcinparknatyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear dresses.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never feed peanuts to sheep while wearing mauve coats.