Legsawminflabcum is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, stupid tortoise.

Legsawminflabcum created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Legsawminflabcum, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Legsawminflabcum, he will be very unhappy.

Legsawminflabcum's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Legsawminflabcum's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured geese.

2. Hide if eight sheep approach from the east.

3. Legsawminflabcum loves goats, so they must be respected.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not eat cherries.