Larnvegpark is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, annoying hydra.

Larnvegpark created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnvegpark, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Larnvegpark, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Larnvegpark's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Larnvegpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into magenta rooms.

2. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

3. Never paint your face fawn.

4. Never eat melons.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Larnvegpark.