Hatparkvad is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, happy wren.

Hatparkvad created the planet Jupiter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hatparkvad, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hatparkvad, it will turn you into a frog.

Hatparkvad's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Hatparkvad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always help sick mice.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never wear mauve shorts.