Rutlipbit is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, amazing mongoose.

Rutlipbit created bats five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutlipbit, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Rutlipbit, she will make you grow a tail.

Rutlipbit's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Rutlipbit's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Run away from pink mice, for they are unholy.

3. You must pray to Rutlipbit five times a day.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Never talk about planets.