Signellkar is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, omnipotent crocodile.

Signellkar created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Signellkar, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Signellkar, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Signellkar's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Signellkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention swans.

2. Do not dye your hair white.

3. Do not hurt aardvarks.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics near sharks while wearing violet coats and balancing eight gold spheres on your feet.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.