Gonsinnutt is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, staggering bat.

Gonsinnutt created a charm quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonsinnutt, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gonsinnutt, it will try to impress you with trees.

Gonsinnutt's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Gonsinnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near mites while wearing black trousers and balancing five iron spheres on your neck.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always help sick ants.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Erect a giant red sculpture of Gonsinnutt in the centre of the settlement.