Vonnibjin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, calm frog.

Vonnibjin created matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonnibjin, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonnibjin, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Vonnibjin's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Vonnibjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near tapirs.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Vonnibjin must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Vonnibjin loves goats, so they must be respected.

5. Always help seals.