Nurlvabtof is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, weak shrew.

Nurlvabtof created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlvabtof, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nurlvabtof, she will turn you into a dog.

Nurlvabtof's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Nurlvabtof's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven whales approach from the east.

2. Do not eat carrots.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always look after injured frogs.

5. Never sit in holy places.