Honappfen is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, egotistical aardvark.

Honappfen created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Honappfen, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Honappfen, she will destroy your favourite star.

Honappfen's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Honappfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always obey Honappfen's priests.

5. Never think ill of sick mice.