Raprapcud is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, moody ferret.

Raprapcud created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Raprapcud, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Raprapcud, it will turn you into a duck.

Raprapcud's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Raprapcud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near goats while wearing black boots and balancing three aluminium spheres on your neck.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Always obey Raprapcud's priests.