Passandnil is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humorless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Passandnil created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Passandnil, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Passandnil, it will manifest in front of you.

Passandnil's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Passandnil's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Passandnil on top of all buildings.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near ants while wearing yellow boots and balancing three nickel spheres on your legs.

4. Never chant near eagles.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.