Taprapkik Bemsidgab Yoglogyarp is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, emotional seal.

Taprapkik Bemsidgab Yoglogyarp created a quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Taprapkik Bemsidgab Yoglogyarp, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Taprapkik Bemsidgab Yoglogyarp, she will be very sad.

Taprapkik Bemsidgab Yoglogyarp's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Taprapkik Bemsidgab Yoglogyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Taprapkik Bemsidgab Yoglogyarp loves ants, so they must be respected.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Run away from black eagles, for they are unholy.

5. You must love Taprapkik Bemsidgab Yoglogyarp.