Matcumvab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, uncaring jackal.

Matcumvab created a quark four years ago.

If you believe in Matcumvab, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Matcumvab, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Matcumvab's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Matcumvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. You must love Matcumvab.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Put Matcumvab first in all things.