Gepvonbitdam is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, all-powerful spider.

Gepvonbitdam created tapeworms nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepvonbitdam, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gepvonbitdam, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gepvonbitdam's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Gepvonbitdam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

2. Erect five iron sculptures of Gepvonbitdam on top of important buildings.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Hide if nine snails approach from the north.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.