Lamcapwon Cedbapbest is a god.

She takes the form of a small, charitable centipede.

Lamcapwon Cedbapbest created the solar system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamcapwon Cedbapbest, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lamcapwon Cedbapbest, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Lamcapwon Cedbapbest's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Lamcapwon Cedbapbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head orange.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Retreat if eight turtles approach from the west.

4. Lamcapwon Cedbapbest loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.