Matbabfen is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, smart newt.

Matbabfen created gold four million years ago.

If you believe in Matbabfen, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Matbabfen, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Matbabfen's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Matbabfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill bats.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Matbabfen on top of all buildings.

5. Never play with disobedient children.