Gilarmfossfut is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, generous raccoon.

Gilarmfossfut created the world seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gilarmfossfut, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gilarmfossfut, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Gilarmfossfut's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Gilarmfossfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum field theory.

2. Never mention mice.

3. Always help horses.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Feed all hungry mites.